The rant..again. But,with more positive perception perharps?

Too many things to be completed; too little time.

Why cant one day be 48 hours?

Why do people need to sleep?

Why do i need to sleep so much? I see pimples popping out here and there the next morning and i was too afraid that i'll be even more uglier and just decided to sleep at least 6 hours a day? I cannot handle it. I should know better that university students do not sleep. Look at documentary on Harvard students and you'll know the pain. They hardly sleep. I still dont understand why people need to sleep. Or worse, if people need sleep why do they even get so many assignments and deadlines to complete???????

Why do i dont have the determination to NOT sleep and finish all my assignments?

Why cant i speak chinese anymore and took Trade in China in mandarin and needed to present in Mandarin? I can hardly read tthe difficult chinese character now? I dont know why did i end up this smart?

I dont understand why the Koreans could go out almost everynight, drink soju and had fun get drunk and sleep and yet there are doing freaking well in school. And my case, im the opposite. Not enough sleep and i dont drink and i hardly had any fun after coming to korea except the joy i get when i go holiday la of course and yet i dont perform well in school, anymore.

I dont know how i do it last time. I took time to travel back from school to home. Complete all household. Take time with my baby cat. Attend basketball training. even take time to play basketball at my homeground. Take extra class. Work part time. Spend time with family and even time with friends with yumcha and all and yet i still do well in school and managed to finish all my homeworks (except for bio la cos i dont have interest to do it).

Now, i dont do all that. My daily routine only evolves around my school and my dorm. From attending class to finishing report and studying in my dorm whole day. Nowadays i dislike going to study room cos i felt pressured surrounded by smart koreans. Im terrified. Why i am not a genius? I hate that i took long time to dissolves information. i hate that im a slow learner. i hate that i dont talk well. I can pretend everything is going fine with me everyday but i need lot of help with homeworks and people keep coming asking me for help not knowing im at their state too?

One thing i knew. If i can handle STPM i think i can handle all these. Im just waiting till the day arrives. God, please send me a guiding angel. At least i dont walk this path alone.

Comments

[zorro]

You are back on your roller coaster of emotions. The thing is everything is relative.In school you are among your classmates who are not that intelligent. So you see yourself doing well relative to them. But once you are in Korea and among the best brains you will seem to see that you are not making any progress. You must understand now you are among the cream of Korea. So that is normal You simply have to continue working harder! That's all
The thing is you think they are smart. In reality they appeared smart. They simply don't tell you or the world that they are suffering as much or even worst than you.

[biq]

Dont put hard on yourself too much ! Im worried about u.

[Rui]

zorro is right. Besides, you can sleep as much as you want (well..reasonably !) and still do the assignments and stuff school. It's all about your working method, try to be more efficient in your work time (like it's better to work one hour on a really focused state than to work 5 hours in your dorm but you're distracted and all you do is just staring at that maths exercise..)
Try to be more productive !
And remember :
[Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.]
Thomas A. Edison

Best of Luck !

[Bilqis]

Thanks for your concerns. I will take heed on ur advices. Im doing my best and i hope my efforts will be fruitful.
But thats not the case here. You can possibly finish one thing in such short period espicially when u have difficulty with understanding the questions.
anyway, will do my best and im really inspired after reading all your comments.

And Rui, have you arrive Korea already?
And which university have you been placed to?

[Rui]

Yeah, just got here three days ago. I'm in Korea University !
I just experienced what you said. I tried to help a senior in his homework on physics..the hardest part was to understand the question !! so we spent 2 or 3 hours trying to decipher what the hell they want us to do..It's not easy, I agree..
That's why I prefer maths :) at least you almost always understand what you have to do (for the method to solve it, that's another story lol)

[Bilqis]

So how do you find Korea?
Wow. 3 Malaysisans are placed there as well. Have you guys met them?
Your senior korean??
At least you are exposed to how difficult it might be for you in future that u'll inclined to work hard for your korean language..
yeah. math is easy when you know the steps. but my problem here is that i have to use koreans method to explain everything in KOREAN!!
sigh.
btw, do you have Fb?

[Rui]

Korea..that's cool, so far. People are really helpful and nice, and I'm just discovering the local culture and stuff :)
And I just met the two malaysian girls..Our senior Zahid just made us to meet so he can explain some things about life over here, and he just pronounced your name :) He said that Bilqis called him and asked him to take care of the malaysian people here, and I immedialty knew he was talking about you ! Little world, heh ? :p
Yes, I'm helping my seniors in maths. Just before I came, I was a maths student and took some advanced courses in both maths and physics. So I try to help whenever is it possible..
Keep up the hard work !
For FB, yeah, you have my email (through my comments), right ? Just drop some few words and I'll add you, so we can chat more privately.
Cya !

[Bilqis]

Good. you are discovering korea..
Zahid? how do u find him..? hehe..
omg. he mentioned my name? why?
wow. u must be really good. maybe u can help me??
im now stuck with the simpsons approximation..
yeah. such a small world. but zahid is my good friend back in language institute that i used to learn at before..
yeah. thanks for ur encouragement!
hm. honestly..i dont have ur email because this account doesnt belong to me although is my blog..
^^
maybe you could mail me yours at bilqisAThanmailDOTnet

[Kyle]

no point comparing... believe in urself n all will be well...